How I Work

My Approach to Therapy

As individuals , we have primary parts of ourselves that have been encouraged and allowed to develop in our family of origin (that is, where we grew up). For each of those primary parts, there is an equal and opposite, typically underdeveloped, hidden or denied aspect or part of us. When we get tired of our primary part being completely in charge of how and what we do, we often “pop” into the opposite side acting in ways that feel out of character. Sometimes. even often, those unexpected behaviors cause pain and confusion for us and the people around us. The goal in therapy is to find more of the parts of us so that sitting in the middle, in awareness that we have a variety of parts/aspects/voices within us, we have more choices of how we want to show up in our lives. We have more choices. If we always and only act instinctively, there are times we may feel as if we are victims because we cannot see any other way of handling what is happening in our life.

For example, if you have a big pleaser part of you, you are accommodating, thoughtful, and considerate of others. That is good. That is good as long as you also have the capacity to set limits when you need to say no. The work is about having many more choices as to how you will respond to life’s opportunities and challenges.

For more information about me, see the FAQ page or just ask!